


I'll Be There and You'll Be By My Side

by MeAndKyun



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Blood and Violence, College student Im Changkyun during the day, Getting Together, I will update the tags as we go to not spoil the characters and plot, Kidnapping, M/M, Mention of drinking and alcohol, NCT cameos, Not many maybe two members, One of them is pretty present because I am in love, Rated explicit for language, Victon cameos, Wait for it, Yes Ten has made an appearance, bartender at night, because I Am In Love, best friend Ten, but i chose not to rate it because it is nothing major, cursing and such, mention of vomiting, night life, who's surprised..
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:47:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 21,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28471887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeAndKyun/pseuds/MeAndKyun
Summary: I suck at summaries but I will try not to spoil the plot;Where Im Changkyun is your regular college student who you'd spot with huge programming textbooks on campus and who would pretty much NOT wail during the nights he has loads of homework to do, only, he really isn't. You see this Im Changkyun is trying to survive on his own in this world where people from his past keep pursuing him wherever he goes. He is running from a city to the next until he can no more because he finds those who let him in, let him know that he no longer can be alone, that he doesn't have to be alone.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Yoo Kihyun, Lee Minhyuk/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu
Comments: 4
Kudos: 141





	1. Blind Was My Trust

**Author's Note:**

> You: Are you ok ?  
> Me, listening to Brisé by Maître Gims, nightcore at that: Never been more so, ok I mean.
> 
> ~~~~  
> Happy new year to all of you!
> 
> The reason I'm posting this at 4 in the morning on this lovely day is because I am a failure and a procrastination champ. This very work has been in my drafts for a solid year and a half, I am not even joking. I decided to just, simply, like, put it out there.
> 
> For those of you reading my other work.. I apologize for posting this instead of updating. It isn't even the same fandom, you might scream at me. I know, I would reply, I tried but I have a writer's block, like, I tried but nothing worked, yet. Kindly, do not lose hope uwu
> 
> For those of you ready for this journey,
> 
> Enjoy reading, me lovelies. However, read the chapter warnings. They will be there when needed and this chapter does have a few of them so make sure to check them out before going any further.
> 
> ~~~~  
> P.S. What's in italic is a character's thoughts.
> 
> PP.S. The stars mark the beginning and end of flashbacks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \-- Chapter Warnings:  
> This chapter contains blood, vomiting, the mention of kidnapping, violence, degrading language and swearing, drinking and being drunk.
> 
> Kindly, pay these warnings all your attention. You have been warned. If it isn't your cup of tea, I highly suggest you don't scroll further.

There was shuffling in the background until Kihyun heard his best friend speak in hushed tones near his ear, “Ki, there's that dude- no, stay like that, don't look up!”

Kihyun nodded and kept his head hung low as he focused on collecting a few more stars in the game he's been playing on his phone for the past hour.

They were seated around one of the tables in this bar in town. Their favourite to pass time in whenever free. A small, quite one where people could perform a song or two if they wished. The owner was nice enough to allow such events where customers- mainly of an age around Kihyun’s- could sing, read poems they've written, or any other sort of performance they'd want to do. Kihyun remembers vaguely how he once was wasted enough and sang a broken version of Celine Dion’s ‘Pour que Tu M'aime Encore’. Minhyuk, his best friend, and the guilty one of intoxicating his brain with liquor that night, had claimed countless times that Kihyun didn't bombard the song as much as Kihyun believed he did. Nonetheless, that didn't save him from the pent up wrath once Kihyun was sober enough to grasp what he did and, well, the boy with the lingering hangover sure had a lot to say because he didn't do the amazing artist justice and her flawless song because his throat hurt from the burning liquids and cocktails he downed. He was a music major for the love of God. He had pride in his voice too.

“What dude, Min?” He smiled as the screen on his phone shimmered with colourful stardust after having successfully completed that level of the game.

Minhyuk sighed and sipped from his Heineken bottle. “The dark horse,” he almost rolled his eyes at Kihyun for not remembering, almost.

Kihyun’s brow lifted at that, head rummaging through appellations his friend liked to label people with when he didn't know their actual names and were intriguing enough for him to observe and nickname as he pleased. He stopped at the memory of Minhyuk using the same name when referring to a boy that passed them by on campus.

_Dark horse, you say?_

He lifted his head and looked at his friend who had his eyebrows knitted as he stared at something right above and past his shoulder.

“Yeah? What about him?” He locked his phone and stuffed it in his jacket pocket. Minhyuk blinked and looked back at him, leaning closer and putting his elbows on the table separating them.

“I'm just curious. He looks somewhat different.”

“Different how?” Hyunwoo cut in. Their other friend didn't have much words to spare so he didn't speak most of the time.

Minhyuk signed with his chin towards a certain individual behind Kihyun. “Never seen him look like that.” He answered, making Kihyun curious, but he didn't turn to see what the other two were looking at.

“How are you used to seeing him then?” Hyunwoo asked again.

“I don't know, maybe a tad bit on the casual side, kind of nerdy with glasses and denim jackets which gives him this hacker boy vibe.” Minhyuk leaned his back on the seat and shrugged. “Typical l guess since I heard he's a computer something major.” He shrugged again and gulped his drink.

“I've actually never seen him look any different than this.” Hyunwoo stated.

“Like Eros personified?” Minhyuk threw the comment with such exasperation, and that was the last drop for Kihyun to turn around and scan the few faces behind him until he spotted a lonely figure sitting on a table near a pillar. The small blond boy was wearing a sheer white top, a bomber jacket hanging on his forearms and barely covering his upper arms as he hugged himself. Kihyun caught a glimpse of dark black nail polish before he turned to his friends. He didn't miss the piercings though, the ones on his ears and eyebrow.

“That's a 180.” He remarked.

“I know, right?” Minhyuk laughed.

“I've seen more than just a 180, honestly. This is nothing compared to what he could be looking like.” Hyunwoo said solemnly.

Minhyuk gasped. “You missed the pants, Hyunwoo. I'm sure you've missed the pants he's wearing because what can top that look featuring leather pants?”

“The leather harness he wore two days ago?” It was said with a nonchalance that made Minhyuk's eyes bulge.

Minhyuk gasped again. “He what?!” Yep, he was definitely surprised.

“Wait, you met him two days ago? Weren't you clubbing at SKI's?” Hyunwoo simply nodded at Kihyun’s question.

He looked between the two other males who had their jaws dropped. “What? He does work there you know.”

“What the fuck?!” Minhyuk whispered as Kihyun whipped his head around to take a second look at the petit male who looked like a lost puppy, eyes roaming around the area like he's trying to find someone. His gaze hardened once he met Kihyun's. The boy blinked a couple of times as he stared back at him until Minhyuk reached out for Kihyun's hand and pulled at it to gain his attention.

“He works there? In a- in a strip club?” Kihyun didn't even know why his words came out in stutters.

“Yeah, I'm pretty sure he does because I've seen him there more than once. Sometimes behind the bar and others on the stage.” Hyunwoo tried to clarify but all Kihyun became after hearing those words was more confused than ever about their ‘Black Horse’ views.

“Never judge a book by its cover indeed.” Kihyun heard Minhyuk say.

“Why would you judge him when you know nothing about him? Everyone has needs that justify their means and attempts to survive.” Hyunwoo was never one to judge anyone based on their looks and actions until he knows the full story. Still, Kihyun couldn't help but be rather taken aback. “I was told he's got it tough so… he did what he had to do and Kyungil accepted he works for him months back because the boy said he knew what he was doing.”

“And?” Minhyuk pushed.

“And what? The owner himself allowed him to work and you know Kyungil. He doesn't just let anyone in.”

“But isn't he like only nineteen or something?” Kihyun was genuinely concerned.

“Eighteen actually.” Hyunwoo corrected.

“Wow! I hoped.” Kihyun leaned further into his chair and stared at Hyunwoo.

Hyunwoo and Kyungil knew each other for a long time so it was pretty normal they shared things between them hence why Hyunwoo knew this much about that kid.

“Anyways, enough talking about that.” Hyunwoo said with a grin. “Maybe we should hang out there sometime on the weekend.”

“Yeah, how about it?” Minhyuk perked up. “I'm already in actually!” Kihyun laughed at that. “What? We haven't been there for ages and we even know the owner so free drinks and stuff.” And Minhyuk was right about not going to said club for a long time. It was a Thursday so they couldn't have gone there that same day but still, Kihyun wasn't really a fan of crowded places and he couldn't deal with the lack of personal space when it involved a lack of hygiene because people tend to sweat profusely in those cramped places, namely clubs, and he can't really deal with the loud music either. He prefers where they currently were. Nice drinks, cool air, spacious area and low music.

“Depends.You'll have to persuade me or I might just be too bored that I would end up there.” He emptied the rest of his drink in one go and stood up. “We’ll see about it by Friday.” He stretches, eyes landing on the clock on the wall. “Thanks guys for the company. It's getting late and I've got class somewhat early tomorrow morning so I have to go back to my room.” he yawns as if in cue and looks at Minhyuk. “You coming, Min?” Minhyuk shook his head.

“He's staying with me.” Hyunwoo said with a warm smile on his lips as he gazed at Minhyuk. The latter nodded and smiled back.

“I'll be staying over at his place so don't wait for me and don't forget to lock the door.” Kihyun rolled his eyes, a chuckle made its way past his lips, still.

“Ok, mom. Have fun you two.” He waved at them and walked past the two to the door after saying good night.

The chilly breeze caressed his warm cheeks once he stepped outside and he shuddered, tightening the woolen scarf around his neck and dashing through the streets and alleys till he made it to his and Minhyuk's apartment. Maybe he was a little crazy for enjoying a run in the middle of a November night but dark, chilly nights always were his favourite. He locked the door to the apartment and stepped out of his shoes, placing them neatly and anticipating his next course of actions. He had a very detailed schema of steps once he made it home so he proceeded to the bathroom to wash up and brush his teeth. Once he put a towel on his head to absorb the wetness of his hair and was in his comfy Polo hoodie, he laid in bed and set his alarm at 8 am. There was a fuzzy bunny on his bed that he called ‘Moon' and it wasn't just for decoration. He wrapped his arms around the plush toy and smiled in content. The blanket was draped perfectly over his body and the door was closed, his pillow and sheets smelled like detergent and his hair emanated the creamy and milky scent of his conditioner. He closed his eyes and sleep met him right around the corner.

★★★

“I'll ask you again, you little shit. What the fuck did you tell your new boss that he accepted a low-life like you so quickly?”

Changkyun hissed at the pull on his scalp. He could feel hairs snap from the roots as his hair was tugged with enough force that his whole body swayed to the side.

He smirked and looked up at the male towering over him.

“The question should be about what I did.” He gasped when hands tightened around his hair and pulled him in a new direction. His body was so light and couldn't have possibly managed to fight the muscular man without having more than three fractured ribs. He knew better than to try it again.

“Yeah?” He heard a smirk in that disgustingly amused tone. “I'd love to know, you little whore.”

He laughed and looked up at the man that's trying to pull him up to his feet. Gaze unwavering as he slowly rose and came face to face with the one face he hated just as much as he hated his own life.

He licked his dry lips before he spoke, “The one thing you'll never have.” He watched anger slowly start to morph the features of that face, “I mainly sucked- ” he was cut off by fingers tightening around his neck, squeezing till his chest burned and his eyes flooded with tears.

Changkyun will probably never understand why the man in front of him was possessive of him but he'll never beg for a release, that much he's sure. He didn't have anything to lose anyway. Not even his soul was of meaning at this point. He was tired, so tired of running and trying to hide just to be found again, every single damn time. There's no point if he lived, better dead than alive for… for who? He had no one.

He laughed and coughed when the grip around his neck loosened and he fell to the ground.  
_Don't you dare pass out, Changkyun!_

He heard steps coming closer and he tightened the muscles of his abdomen on instinct. Lucky for him because soon, a boot met his stomach making him cough and wince. He knew better than to let his abdomen exposed but he wasn't reckless for nothing. He had been craving physical pain for the past couple of days so he might as well enjoy it when it came his way without him asking for it.

He curled around himself when the pain had gotten past the point of being bearable and welcomed the blows on his sides, limbs and back.

The man must have used up all his energy because right when Changkyun almost slipped to unconsciousness, the man stopped allowing him a breather. He heard heavy breaths, noise getting further and further until he was left with silence.

Now, to the hard task.

He licked his bloody lips, swallowing the thick metallic taste and braced himself for the pain that came rippling through his body as soon as he moved.

“Fuck.” He grit his teeth and pulled himself up with the strength he could muster in such a state.

_Good. Good. Now, move out of here._

He had to move quickly before his body gave up on him, and by the looks of it, it wouldn't rant that long until it did.

_Where is the way out of this hell?!_

He needed to remember the directions and figure them out soon.

_What were you expecting when it was a job interview at a bar… of course it was a trap. Of course you were tracked. God knows how long it will take till they kidnap you again and well, not like there is someone who'd notice that you've gone missing._

“Fuck!” He winced as his vision blurred. He blinked quickly to get rid of the fog in his eyes. The last thing he needed was thinking when his skull pulsed and spilled blood non-stop.

_Move out of here…_

“Fucking hurry!” He said out loud to remind himself that there was a countdown till he blacks out for good and that he should at least be halfway on his way home.

Shapes merged with lights and sounds made his head hurt the more he walked in the alleyways to his house. By the time he pushed the apartment door open and slammed the door shut with his whole body, he was covered in blood and dirt and looked like shit.

He planned to go to bed but he was already depleted when he cleaned his wounds and thankfully managed to take painkillers before losing all feeling of his body and landed with a thump on the carpeted floor of the living room, a whole mess of blood and bandages around him.

★★★

There was loud banging on the door and his phone couldn't just shut up. He'd barely fallen asleep, he wasn't a deep sleeper even and why Minhyuk was calling was beyond him.

“What?” He hissed upon answering the call.

“Ki!” Minhyuk exclaimed. Kihyun registered vaguely how the knocking in the front door stopped when he stood up from his bed. “Pretty please open the door. Hurry!” He just hung up like that. Kihyun frowned at his phone but did as told and jogged to the front door and unlocked it, swinging the door open he rolled his eyes and turned on his heels.

“And where are your own keys, Min? I was trying to get some sleep, you know.” He did a double take and froze in his place when he was greeted by a very unusual sight. Not that Minhyuk and Hyunwoo coming to the apartment together was unheard of, the state in which the latter was in was concerning.

“I'm sorry. I must have left them here.” Said Minhyuk as he tried to push the door open further with his foot, his hands were busy holding up the unmoving body. Kihyun scrambled to help his friends. He had a lot of questions.

“W-what happened?”

Hyunwoo smiled at him reassuringly and shook his head.

“He tried to act heroic, that's what happened.” Minhyuk spoke. Kihyun couldn't take his eyes off the stranger that was being slowly laid on the sofa, face covered in bruises and eyes sewn shut.

“I'm sorry for worrying you guys,” Hyunwoo started, “Minhyuk, you know I couldn't just leave him there when he was alone and being forced to go somewhere without his consent.”

Kihyun just stood there staring at the small body yet his mind was still submerged in a sleep haze disallowing him from remembering the owner of those delicate features.

“Whatever. Just, I'll go bring you the first aid kit.” Minhyuk said and walked away. He slammed the entrance door shut and it echoed in the apartment making the small body shift, a whimper followed.

“Hyunwoo, I'm seriously confused. What the hell happened to you? And who is he? Why is he like this, Hyunwoo?” Said boy winced while taking off his bloody jacket, features pinched into one of pain.

“This is Changkyun and we found him in an alley after leaving the bar. He was fighting a whole group of huge men on his own as they were trying to take him away somewhere. I couldn't do nothing. Especially because Kyungil cares for him.”

Kihyun couldn't remember hearing the name before no matter how much he tried.

“What does Kyungil have to do with him?” Kihyun couldn't help but ask.

“He's the Dark Horse, Ki. He works for Kyungil, remember?” Kihyun turned to Minhyuk as he got back to the living room with the first aid kit.

“He what?” He was totally confused.

“You remember the boy sitting behind you at the bar earlier? The blond? The one I call ‘dark horse’ ?” Minhyuk asked and he nodded. “Well he's beat up and laying on our couch right this instant.” He knelt before the couch and opened the box he just brought from the bathroom. “Meet Changkyun, not so officially.” Minhyuk rolled his sleeves up to prevent his clothes from being dirtied with blood.

“I'll do it.” Kihyun didn't realise he said it out loud. Minhyuk should be taking care of Hyunwoo’s bruises instead. He wouldn't know how to treat the boy's wounds even if he tried. Hyunwoo's looked manageable.

“Thanks.” Minhyuk said and stood up.

“It's fine. Just take care of your boyfriend for now.” He gestured with his thumb towards Hyunwoo who had walked to the bathroom.

“I'm sorry for scaring you but we had no other choice but to bring him here. Our apartment is closer and we couldn't go all the way to Hyunwoo's. The boy passed out right after making sure we weren't taking him to the hospital.”

“You really don't have to apologize because Hyunwoo already told me what happened and I understand.” Kihyun tried to smile at his best friend for some reassurance. Minhyuk just laughed and ran his hands through his hair.

“I actually don't know what happened to him myself but I guess we'll see when he wakes up.” he jogged after Hyunwoo and left Kihyun with the blond boy who didn't look like he was going to wake up any time soon. It was better like that, he wouldn't feel the pain as much.

Kihyun tried to be gentle with the cotton soaked in rubbing alcohol. There were several scrapes and cuts and bruises, too many than he could count and he wasn't sure he had cleaned them all and bandaged them. He opted to remove the flimsy fabric that was no longer white from the boy's upper body as he was sure there were more wounds under it.

And he was right. He sighed, shifting his sore legs to have better access to the wounds covering the slim torso. Once done, he turned the boy to the side a little to check his back. His eyes widened when he took in the sight in front of him. With a shaky hand, he brushed the tips of his fingers on the bruises covering the slim waist and all the way up the boy's back. A whimper echoed in the stillness of the air around him making him jerk backwards as the small body in front of him curled into a ball and let out another agonizing whimper.  
Kihyun let out a breath he was holding, jaw slack and eyes wide.

“Cha-Changkyun, what happened to you…” he kept staring at the bruised back till he caught it shivering. He scrambled to apply ointment and banged the skin before quickly moving to his room and collecting a hoodie and putting it on the blond’s frame in a hurry, too worried he'd freeze in the coldness of the night.

“Oh! You're done?” Kihyun looked up from his hands at the owner of the voice. Hyunwoo walked towards him and leaned forwards to look at the boy that had his face buried in the pillows.

“Yeah, it didn't take long.” Kihyun finished collecting the items he's been using and turned to Hyunwoo.

“Do you know what happened?” Hyunwoo shook his head and buried his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. “Who did this to him? Who were they?”

“I've never seen them before and I don't know him personally so I can't tell why.”

“You said they were taking him away somewhere but you don't know who, why or to where?” Hyunwoo nodded. “You just saved him?” Hyunwoo nodded and bit his lower lip.

“I don't need other reasons apart from him being on his own and in a lot of trouble. You should have seen how mercilessly they were throwing punches and kicks when he looked like he could break if you so much as blow on him… or actually, you shouldn't.”

“I've seen enough,” Kihyun sighed. “He's literally covered in bruises and cuts so I could imagine that much.”

“I'm really sorry for dragging you into this.” Kihyun shook his head.

“There's nothing to be sorry for. I'm actually really glad you didn't just leave him there or worse, got there later than you did.” Kihyun patted Hyunwoo’s shoulder as gently as he could. The latter smiled and nodded.

“Me too. I would have never left him there. He's just a kid. Literally a kid.” Kihyun chuckled softly.

“Oh, could you please move him to my bed? He’ll be sore all over if he sleeps here and I can't carry him myself.” He held up his blood covered hands for emphasis.

“Sure, on it.” Hyunwoo lifted Changkyun with ease and walked to Kihyun's room per his request. It was obvious how the little boy was in too much pain because the moment he laid him down on the bed, he caught the pained expression on his face and the sweat that started to cover his face. He turned around, ready to ask Kihyun if he could bring him some painkillers but the boy was already ahead of him as he walked in with a glass of water and a bottle of pills in hand. Hyunwoo watched as Kihyun tried to lift the boy's head up a little and balanced his upper body with his own chest and shoulder.

“Changkyun, can you please open your mouth for this?” The boy frowned in his sleep. “They're pills to help you with the pain.” Changkyun nodded after a few seconds and accepted the two pills and a gulp of water. A disgusted look painted the boy's features upon tasting the bitter medicine making Hyunwoo smile. Kihyun patted his head and laid him back on the bed carefully. Soon, Changkyun was deep asleep again and the two of them left him in Kihyun's room to rest.

Kihyun wasn't a light sleeper for nothing, but the force with which a door was slammed shut was incredibly loud that he shot up from his position on the couch and walked quickly to his room and towards the empty bed. The sheets were tousled and gory. His ears caught noises from the nearby bathroom and he knocked on the door twice before opening it and getting in.

Changkyun was kneeling before the toilet bowl and emptying his stomach. Kihyun assumed it was due to alcohol and walked closer to him.

“Are you ok?” He tried to not startle the boy, the latter shook his head, body wrenching with pain and fingers gripping the edge of the porcelain with force. Kihyun acted on instinct, sinking to his knees, he started rubbing the boy's back while keeping in mind his wounds and tried to be gentle.

Changkyun was panting as he wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand. Kihyun helped him to his feet and led him to the sink. Without a word, he flushed the toilet and put a packed toothbrush near Changkyun.

He would be lying if he said he understood what was going on. Soon, he was given privacy again as the bathroom door was shut. Privacy in a place he had no idea about where it was located and a person giving help when they knew nothing about each other.

Maybe he was indeed captured by those scumbags and he's being taken care of because he's needed alive. He didn't remember much of what happened anyways. He's not sure what to believe.

Changkyun left the bathroom and entered the adjacent room. The bed he woke up in came in sight and he sat on the edge. Gripping the beige sheets that were covered in his blood, he tugged them in his direction and they pooled on his lap. Just then, a knock sounded on the door and a very familiar face came into his view.

“Hyung!” He exclaimed and struggled to stand up as the sheets tangled with his legs making him fall back down.

“Good morning, Changkyun.” Hyunwoo smiled at him and moved closer to the bed. “How are you feeling?” He said as he sat down opposite from him.

“I'm fine. Just a hangover.” He dismissed the question quickly and stared at him. “Is this your house? Why am I here?” He licked his lips and waited for Hyunwoo to answer. He shook his head. “It's my boyfriend's apartment actually and his flatmate’s. I brought you here after what happened last night. Don't you remember?”

Changkyun shook his head. “I was drunk, hyung. But what happened? Was that your boyfriend just now?”

“Who? Kihyun? No, he's my friend. You don't remember being in the alley?” Hyunwoo frowned.

“What alley?” Changkyun couldn't really remember.

“Ok. I see you remember nothing.” He leaned back on his hands and stretched his legs, yawning. “Aren't you in pain though? There were a lot of them for only one to take down, even for me. They kind of hurt you a lot. You were bleeding and even passed out.”

Changkyun was wondering why his body hurt too much. He lifted the seam of the white hoodie he had on and let his hand wonder under the fabric and along the patched skin.

“Those bastards.” He murmured, looking down at his abdomen.

“Why didn't you want to go to the hospital after such harassment, Changkyun? I can only imagine how hurt you are.”

_Not if I wanted to be found in an instant._

“It's nothing I can't handle really.” He smiled and looked up.

Hyunwoo sighed and shook his head. “So you don't know who they were or what they wanted?” Changkyun shook his head.

_Me, obviously._

“They were trying to kidnap you, Changkyun. What if they do that again when no one is around?” Changkyun was way too calm than normal. Like he was fine with what happened, as if it was a given fact to him.

“Then it wouldn't be anyone’s business. Really, hyung, don't worry about it. I'm fine all thanks to you and I don't think it will happen again. I promise.”

_Just, please, let it go._

Hyunwoo stood up and sighed. Maybe, it's not his place to interfere with the other's business. They weren't close at all and it looked like a delicate subject for the boy to share with him. Maybe he can do something about it. He's not good at gaining people's trust by making them comfortable around him for nothing. Might as well use it.

“Just know that I'm here if you need me. Even if we barely know each other. Kyungil is a good friend of mine and he cares for you a lot, that makes you my friend too.”  
Changkyun's eyes widened as he stared at him.

_Friend? Me?_

Hyunwoo came closer to him and patted his head. Just then, Kihyun cleared his throat. The two looked at him as he kept a hand on the door frame while the other gestured behind him, fingers wrapped around a glass of water. “I made breakfast but I didn't know whether you'd prefer to eat here or in the kitchen. Can you even stand up?” Changkyun gulped. Eyes trained on the glass in Kihyun's hand as his throat felt like a desert. “Oh, sorry. Here.” Kihyun walked up to him and handed him the glass. He accepted it with a bow and gulped down the cool liquid, eyes closed as he savoured the freshness. He felt fingers brush his bangs and a cool palm rested on his forehead. “You're-” Kihyun turned to Hyunwoo who was watching him check the boy's temperature, eyes wide and not blinking. Hyunwoo frowned and looked at Changkyun who had eyes similar to Kihyun's in size and visibly gulped.

“He's what?” He asked as the silence and shock stretched for more than necessary.

“Kind of like,” Kihyun blinked and stepped nearer to the flustered boy, somehow along the way cupping his face in his hands. An action that made the boy even more flustered. “He's burning.” He turned his attention to Changkyun and stared at him. “Baby, you've got a fever.”

Hyunwoo turned to the side and snorted. He turned again to them just to catch Changkyun recovering from his shock and closing his jaw that had been hanging open.

Kihyun, oblivious to what he was doing to the boy, stared at Changkyun more, hands unmoving from their place on the blond’s cheeks and apparently in thought. “I could ask you to shower to lower that fever but that's not good because of your injuries.” He took his hands away and walked to the door. “We should take care of that hangover first. I'll bring you something to eat and then we'll see what we can do.” Kihyun was mainly stating his plans out loud, leaving no room for discussion. Not that Changkyun could tell him that he could go to the kitchen on his own, he had already walked out of the room. He turned his head to Hyunwoo who was looking at him with an amused smile.

“What?”

“Nothing. Kihyun has this very responsible, very motherly side of him that jumps out whenever he senses pups. He does that to my boyfriend a lot and I think he just caught a new pup on his radar. Thought you should know.” Hyunwoo left the room right after, leaving a pouty Changkyun to stare at the sheets he's been squeezing for the past minutes. He forgot to ask Hyunwoo how he could clean them, he's been grinning and teasing him instead of showing him how to deal with the awkwardness of the situation he ended up in.

He sighed and fell back on the bed. It was much better than his, comfier and bigger that he could lay horizontally. He closed his eyes and covered them with his arm. He couldn't remember the last time he slept on a comfortable mattress with expensive bedding. Maybe because he never had the chance.

Kihyun returned to his room after making some soup to treat the boy's hangover. Instead of finding him sitting and waiting for his food as eagerly as Kihyun imagined him to be, he found the blond boy curled up in a heap of sheets- that Kihyun has mentally noted earlier that they needed cleansing- and hugging the pillows as his face was planted in the headboard, just like he had done when he was on the sofa last night.

Kihyun wondered if he had spent that long trying to make a simple soup that the boy fell asleep. He looked at his watch and noted how it was nearing 8am.  
Maybe he should ask Minhyuk to make sure he eats when he wakes up, he doesn't have a lecture today unlike himself. He would probably sleep till noon like every Friday and forget the presence of Changkyun...

He shook his head and sighed. Hyunwoo would have been a better option but he had to work that day leaving Kihyun only one option. He wouldn't risk letting the food get cold when the small boy needed it.

“Changkyun.” He tried to whisper as low as he could in an attempt to not startle him awake. “Changkyun.” He tried a little louder. The boy shifted a little in his sleep. He set the tray on the bedside table and crawled behind Changkyun's back. Kneeling, he leaned forward to look at his face and tapped on his bony shoulder. “Changkyun, wake up please.” The boy shifted to lay on his back and rubbed his eyes with small fists. He blinked lazily a few times only to shut his eyes again and roll to the side, somehow ending up with his head on Kihyun's lap. He nuzzled his thigh and let out a whimper. Kihyun might have felt his heart drop two floors below but stayed still.

“Changkyun…” he gasped but did nothing to move the boy away from his lap. With a shaky hand, he let his fingers rake through the blond locks and marvel at how soft they were.

“Changkyun?” He called carefully. The boy hummed. “I brought you some-some soup, can you…” He felt a tug in his stomach at his own words but ignored it in favour of staring at the beautiful features of the boy on his bed, tangled in his sheets and wearing his favorite white hoodie. It had a few stains of blood on the collar and he let his fingers brush the neckline and the hood that covered the boy's ears and pulled it down a little, exposing more of his neck and continued his path on the skin till his nails grazed the boy's Adam apple. “Do you want me to feed you, Changkyun?” His eyes widened at his own words and the boy that accepted with a nod of his head. “Ok…” he said shakily and reached out for the bowl and spoon.

Changkyun sat up, rubbing his eyes a little, he leaned back on the headboard and kept his eyes closed.

He gulped, taking in how, despite having his hair disheveled and being half asleep, Changkyun still managed to look breathtaking.

“Open up, please.” Kihyun brought the spoon to his lips and tried to be careful not to spill the liquid anywhere atop the other boy or on the blankets.  
Changkyun cracked his eyes open and leaned closer. Kihyun watched how the spoon disappeared in his mouth and his eyes closed again, lips tugging forward as he dragged them on the metal that came out clean. Kihyun scrambled to feed him another spoonful instead of staring like the idiot he was being. He forgot to blow on it a little resulting in him accidentally burning the boy's lower lip. Changkyun winced and moved his head back on reflex. Kihyun mumbled a curse and an apology and let the spoon fall back into the soup to allow his free hand to soothe the reddened lip. Changkyun's tongue darted across his lip, leaving behind a shimmering, transparent veil. Kihyun leaned forward, eyes fixated on the boy's lips, he blew cool air on the puckered lips and moved backwards again only to have his thumb caress the delicate skin in an attempt to soothe the pain. He looked up at Changkyun and froze, breath catching in his lungs as he stopped all movements. The gaze he had on him was penetrating and stupefying at once and the lips under his thumb moved as he registered a low ‘more’.

“Huh?” Kihyun let out, confused. The blond boy pointed at his other hand and he followed it, understanding downing on him finally. “Oh sorry, you must be hungry.” Changkyun nodded slowly and closed his eyes once he had a spoonful of soup in his mouth.

Kihyun felt like he conquered the world after persuading him to eat all the food he's prepared for him. “You can go back to sleep now.” He patted his hair a little and stood up from the bed. “I have a lecture now and you can rest in the meantime. I'll be back in two hours so don't go anywhere, ok?” Changkyun nodded and let his eyes flutter shut. Letting his body fall to the side, he rolled down a little to go back to his previous position and hugged a pillow. Kihyun had removed the dirty bedding and gave him clean ones. The new white blanket was so fuzzy and Changkyun loved how it covered him and lulled him to sleep.

_Don't go anywhere?  
I wouldn't want to if it was up to me.  
This dream is too good, I don't ever want to wake up._

Kihyun was panting and his heart felt like it was ready to jump out of his rib cage. He fisted his right hand and banged his wrist on his chest a few times making himself cough and splutter because of the impact. Flying down the staircase, he ripped the door to the building open and dashed out. A few droplets of rain catching in his brown locks but he paid them no heed and enjoyed the wind caressing his flushed cheeks.

Maybe it'll make him more sane.

He adjusted the straps of his bag on his shoulders and sped up in the direction of campus, not wanting to be late for his 9am lecture due to his stupidity.

Kihyun really tried to focus in his class and take some notes for the upcoming exam but he failed miserably, not when his thoughts kept returning to one mysterious blond boy in his apartment. He couldn't help but count the minutes passing to go check if the boy was still there. He didn't know whether he'd listen to him and not go anywhere or wake up with a sudden urge to go back home. Kihyun wasn't sure he had anybody in said home ready to take care of him. He should ask, if the boy was still there, that is. Throwing his notebook and pencil case back in his backpack, he dashed out of the amphitheatre and ran his way back to his apartment building.

Maybe he should have checked the weather forecast.

Under the heavy rain that suddenly decided that it was fine to soak him wet, he ran faster, dodging the heaps of people and paying attention to their umbrellas to not poke his eyes in his rush. He might have missed the few puddles on his way and directly submerged his timbers in the waters thereby splashing mud all over his pants, but he didn't cease running. Not when he ran up the stairs and certainly not when he ripped his apartment door open. Discarding his shoes by the entrance, he padded in the direction of his room and opened the door. Only then did he halt and took in the sight in front of him.

The blond boy was still curled up in the blankets, the only difference was that he was now facing the door instead of the headboard and instead of hugging the pillows, he had Moon in his arms, face buried in the fuzzy fur and blond hair falling to the side as he used the plush toy’s neck as pillow to support his head.

Kihyun bit his lip to stop himself from grinning like an idiot and walked to his closet for clean clothes. He desperately needed a hot shower.  
He soundlessly closed the door to his bathroom and shed off the layers of clothing that stuck to his skin. In a neat heap, he threw them in the washing machine and stepped under the warm water, ridding himself of the coldness and shivers that slowly subsided till he was satisfied and grabbed his bathrobe to cocoon himself in.

It might be a habit, it had to be. A cute one, because the first thing that greeted Kihyun's sight when he walked into his room was Changkyun sitting up drowsily and bringing Moon up along with him. His thin arms were cradling the toy’s head as his small fists rubbed the sleep off his eyes. Kihyun had to muster all the self-restraint to stop himself from cooing at the whimpers leaving the boy's throat as he stretched. Opening his eyes slowly, he inspected his surroundings to pinpoint where he was exactly. His eyes landed on Kihyun and he frowned, head tilting to the side. Kihyun waved at him and smiled.

“Good morning, Changkyun.” Taking the few steps that separated him from the bed, he sat down on the edge of the mattress and kept his eyes on the bewildered boy. Kihyun wasn't sure he had something weird in his face because he was just looking at himself in the bathroom mirror, but maybe his hair was disheveled. It tends to do that when it air dries and sticks out at odd angles. Pulling the hood to cover his hair because he was suddenly self-conscious, he cleared his throat. “How are you feeling?” The blond boy continued to stare at him in shock and Kihyun was beginning to panic. “Ok…” he frowned and leaned closer. Resting his hand on the boy's forehead, he tried to determine if he still had a fever.

“You're real.” Suddenly the boy breathed out, shocked. Kihyun nodded despite the confusion.

“I am.” He let his hand move backwards to move away the blond bangs covering the boy's feline eyes.

“I thought- I thought I was dreaming, coming here and…” he sucked in a breath and turned his head around to inspect his surroundings again.

“Hyunwoo brought you here last night because you needed help and you were injured.” Kihyun recited. “You thought that was a dream?” Changkyun nodded a little then shook his head.

“Everything.” He let his gaze fall on Kihyun again. The more he stared, the wider his eyes got. As realization downed on him, he moved back quickly. “I need to go.” He breathed out trying to stand up only for his legs to tangle in the sheets and he fell down with a thud. “Ahh…” he winced and glanced at his throbbing knee. The fall wasn't a bad one as he landed on the carpet, but his knee wasn't responding well and only hurt more when he tried to move it again.

“Hey. Are you ok? Are you hurt?” Kihyun was by his side in an instant and supported his weight, helping him sit on the bed. He winced again and eyed the hand that was on his knee. Kihyun followed his gaze and gulped. “Does- it hurt if… I do this?” He added a little pressure with his pointer finger and Changkyun gasped. He nodded and let out a shaky breath as his thigh started to throb. “I think you've hurt your knee. Can I take a look at it?” Kihyun sat on his calves and waited for his response.

“It's fine.” Was the small answer.

“No,” Kihyun pressed his finger right above Changkyun's knee and watched the leather dip a little. He heard a hiss and looked up. “No, you're not. Let me take a look to see how bad it is uhh… here. You can put on these shorts while I bring some ice.” He didn't look back at Changkyun or wait for his answer and only left the room, much like he did before.

Changkyun glanced between the kappa shorts on his left and the closed door. The guy he'd just met really was assertive, for a guy he just met.

_Are you really going to do as he said?_

Sighing, he unbuttoned his pants and slid them down his thighs.

The answer was yes. Pulling up the shorts, he dared a glance at his left thigh and groaned almost instantly.

_Those bastards!_

Kihyun got back with a towel and a pack of ice and knelt before Changkyun. He couldn't help feeling sorry for the blond. His thigh looked pretty badly hurt, bruises of purple and red all over it. He wrapped the pack of ice in the thin towel and lifted the shorts a little further up the slim thigh. “It won't hurt, I promise.” Chancing a brief eye contact with the blond, he focused on the movements of his own hands and made sure to be extra gentle when setting the pack on the boy's skin. “Are you sure it's ok to keep your knee bent like this?” He moved his hand down a little till the ice pack brushed the upper part of his knee. Looking up at Changkyun, “doesn't it hurt to keep it like this?”

Changkyun gulped. He didn't find their positions provocative at all.

Maintaining eye contact, he shook his head. “It's not that bad.” Kihyun nodded and looked down. He flattened his palm on Changkyun's calf and tried to slowly move it up to stretch his leg. “It hurts, doesn't it?” He caught Changkyun's nod and moved to bend his knee again. He let the sole of the tiny foot touch the carpet before removing his hand and continued to massage the blond’s knee with one hand as the other fished his phone from his pocket. Unlocking it, he scrolled down on a web page and scanned the content in silence.

“Thank you.” Kihyun looked up from his phone to find Changkyun staring at him. Pink blush was covering his cheeks as he chewed on his lower lip. Kihyun found it cute.

“What for?” Changkyun avoided his gaze and coughed awkwardly.

“For- for everything you're doing for me although you don't know me. I owe you a lot.” He bit his lower lip again, redness taking over the pink of the flesh due to pressure that it worried Kihyun he'd make it bleed. It was a miracle how he stopped himself from brushing the pad of his thumb on the swollen lips before him.

“It's nothing to mention.” Kihyun lowered his hand and scrolled down on his phone. “I don't have to know you to give you a hand when you need one.” He locked his phone and looked up at Changkyun with a smile. “I don't expect anything from you in return so please don't worry about it.” He turned his head towards the bathroom door and looked up at Changkyun again. He pointed at the ice pack. “Can you hold this here for a bit? I need to get a bandage before it starts to swell.” Changkyun nodded and took it from his hand. “Oh, and keep it elevated on the bed.” Kihyun disappeared behind the bathroom door in an instant. Changkyun heard shuffling and a few more noises as he pulled his legs up on the bed and tried to copy Kihyun's movements from before.  
He got back with the bandage and a clean towel in hand and sat down on the carpet. “I'm going to wrap this around your thigh and try not to tighten it but you need to tell me if it is too taut, ok?”

“Ok.” Changkyun nodded once.

He wiped the wetness off the honey coloured skin carefully as he thought back at what he read from that site about how to deal with such injury. He put the towel near him on the ground and picked up his phone to read a bit more. “Oh!” He exclaimed, making Changkyun jump. “I need to wrap your calf too and,” he paused to read again. “And it needs to be bent, your knee.”

“Ok.” Changkyun wasn't sure what else to say.

Kihyun worked carefully, fingers moving slowly and steadily till he reached the boy's calf, all the while checking the tightens of the bandage. “It's way past noon but we still should have some lunch so what do you have in mind? I'm sure you're hungry.” Kihyun asked as he continued his task.

“Umm, not really.” Kihyun narrowed his eyes at him.

“I'm convinced you've been eating too poorly. Look at how slim you are.”

Changkyun looked down in an attempt to avoid the other one's gaze. “I'm sorry.”

“Wha- no. I just meant you should eat more. You don't have to apologize.” Kihyun smiled and leaned back. “There, all done.” He pushed a pillow under his leg to keep it elevated and looked back at Changkyun. “What's your favourite food?” He beamed and waited for a response. All Changkyun did was fidgeting under his gaze and kept quiet.

Maybe he won't stop staring till he tells him what he likes as food.

“Seafood. Raw.” He busied himself with his fingers.

“Ok!” Kihyun jumped up to his feet, picking up his phone and towels in the process. “I'm ordering Japanese food then.” He skipped his way to the door and closed it softly.

Changkyun shook his head. Smiling to himself, he laid back on the pillows and brought the plush toy on the bed closer to him to hug. He didn't want to think of his responsibilities but they found their way back to his head. He still has to work tonight.

He reached out for his pants and searched for his phone but there was no sight of it there. He turned to the bedside table to see if it was put there but there was none other than a lamp and a book on top of the white surface.  
Sighing, he sank back on the pillows and closed his eyes. “Now I need a new phone. Maybe it won't be tracked or whatever.”

***

When Hyunwoo got back to the shared apartment of Minhyuk and Kihyun, it was a little past two in the afternoon but the apartment was deserted. He checked the living room and the kitchen but no one was there although he left three grown males in it before going to work.

Suddenly, there was loud laughter coming from one of the bedrooms and he walked down the corridor and towards the one from which he heard the loudness of his boyfriend's giggles.

“What is going on here?” He smiled brightly and leaned on the door frame.

The three boys were sitting in a somewhat circle on the carpet of Kihyun's room, surrounded by take-out boxes and bags. One would think they were on a picnic. Kihyun and Minhyuk were all giggles and chuckles while Changkyun was pouting. Pouting and in shorts.

“They are bullying me, Hyunwoo hyung.” He pointed an accusatory finger at the two other boys and pouted again, huffing.

“How cute! He even calls you ‘hyung’.” Kihyun pinched his cheek and cooed at how soft it was. Minhyuk doubled over with laughter and pointed at Changkyun.

“Seriously, Hyunwoo, you should see how he eats ice cream. I'm gonna combust!” Minhyuk gave the small boy a spoon and waited, eyes wide with anticipation. Hyunwoo pushed his body from the door and walked closer to the circle, dodging a few stray napkins and bags and plopped down next to Minhyuk. Changkyun huffed and accepted the spoon. With his left hand, he spooned some ice cream and lifted it to his mouth. Right before he could close his lips on the spoon, he turned it around to have the ice cream facing his lips and licked it off clean. Kihyun clutched his heart while Minhyuk tackled the pouting boy and almost crushed him.

“You're too cute! One hell of a cute pup! I'm adopting you.”

“You do realise that's not even legal.”

“Watch me.” Minhyuk pinched his cheek and hugged him tighter.

Hyunwoo simply shook his head and laughed at the mess of limbs in front of him.  
“Ah! Ah! It hurts. Get off!”

“Oh, sorry.” Minhyuk giggled. “Did you get hurt?” He squished the boy's cheeks with his palms and pouted too.

“Yeah. My pride.” Changkyun rolled his eyes.

Minhyuk frowned and crossed his arms. A pout found its way on his lips and he turned to Hyunwoo.

“He doesn't want to accept that he's actually too cute for my poor heart. Don't you think that he is?”

Hyunwoo shrugged and decided to tease the boy further. “He's an adorable pup and there's no denying it. Right Kkukkung?” He smirked at said boy. The latter groaned and threw his head back, visibly done.

“Holy- Kkukkung? Is that the nickname you tried to hide from us after asking you for two hours?”

Changkyun faked a sob. “Why…”

“Speaking of which.” Hyunwoo's voice turned serious. He turned to Kihyun briefly. “Kyungil gave him that nickname,” his eyes found Changkyun and he spoke again. “I told him that you're not feeling well. You can rest without worries”. The boy’s expressions became serious suddenly.

“But I have a shift tonight.” Hyunwoo shook his head with a smile.

“Not anymore. I met Kyungil before coming here and I told him what happened so he understands.”

“But- but there's no one else to replace me.” Changkyun was frowning and Hyunwoo couldn't fathom why it was too serious so quickly.

“Kyungil said he could manage and asked me to tell you to not worry about it.” The boy diverted his gaze and looked at his own lap. “He tried to call you but your phone was out of service so I'm telling you this personally.”

“I lost it yesterday.” Changkyun mumbled. Hyunwoo nodded in understanding. “I--” the blond boy trailed off, curling around himself that he appeared smaller than he was. He looked up and met each of their gazes. “I wanted to thank you guys for- for everything you've done for me so far. You don't… you know nothing about me but you are doing so much to make me comfortable.” He looked down at his lap and bit his lower lip before continuing. “I'm really sorry for troubling you with me.” He tried to bow at each one of them from his sitting position.

“Hey, don't worry about it.” Minhyuk was the first to react. He slid closer to the boy across from him and hugged him as tight as possible. “It's nothing to mention. Besides, we wouldn't be doing any of it if we didn't want to.”

“It's still a lot to do and I wouldn't want to burden you further.” He said once Minhyuk released him. Kihyun rolled his eyes at those words.

“As if I'll let you go anywhere.” Kihyun spoke, making Changkyun stare at him wide eyed. “Not that I'm keeping you prisoner or anything. Just. Do you have anyone to take care of you once you leave here?” Changkyun's eyes expressed how suddenly the question stirred his insides, like a jab pointing out what he lacked the most. He let his head hang low and shook it as a ‘no’. “Look,” Kihyun sighed. He couldn't tell what he did wrong, still. “All I'm saying is that you are welcome to stay here as long as you need. You are free to leave whenever you feel like it but that is under one condition and that's full recovery. Understood?” Minhyuk's eyes widened at how firm his best friend sounded. He just felt bad and made to correct what he's done wrong on his behalf by stroking the blond strands of hair with his long fingers.

“You said it's his choice and went on about him being free when you're restraining his wish to leave, Ki. That just doesn't add up.” He glanced at the small boy as he felt him tremble under his touch briefly. There was nothing Minhyuk could read on his features apart from sadness and he somehow felt responsible for upsetting the boy although he wasn't the one to cause him to curl his spine and face the carpet while his fingers played aimlessly with the threads.

Kihyun sighed, he put on a face that read ‘I regret nothing’ and set his eyes on Changkyun's hair because that was all he could see from where he sat. “I just need to make sure he doesn't do it again.” He threw Minhyuk a glare and went back to look at Changkyun who just froze.

“Do what again?” Hyunwoo had probably conjured a dozen thoughts about what those words meant in the mere seconds that followed after Kihyun spoke.

“What did he try to do?” Minhyuk looked at the three faces surrounding him trying to get an explanation.

Changkyun felt a building up burning in the center of his chest. His throat constricted painfully, feeling dry and scratchy. He took in a hasty breath as nausea took over him and tried to stand up only for his left knee to not listen to him and support his weight. He called out the first name that came to mind, possibly associating the memory from early morning and making him reach out for help. “Ki…” his voice sounded strange even to his own ears. It was more likely that said male didn't hear him so he bit his lip and gritted his teeth, readying himself to take the pain.

A palm rubbed against his before fingers squeezed his hand while an arm slid under his and he was lifted off the ground. “Changkyun?” Kihyun’s voice sounded next to his ear. He swallowed to keep the bile in its place and stared at the bathroom door that was slightly open, breaths irregular as he took a step towards it followed by another. The brunette read his mind in an instant and helped him to the toilet bowl. Much like that morning, he knelt behind him and rubbed his back soothingly, not asking him any questions before he finished regurgitating all that he ate.

“Are you ok?” Kihyun's tone was careful, hand rubbing his back in small, soothing circles. He nodded and closed his eyes. With his back leaning on the bathtub, he took in a deep breath to calm himself down. “I thought you liked seafood. You don't have an allergy, or do you? I'm sorry, I should've asked.” Kihyun rambled his monologue.

He shook his head furiously. “No, it's not the food. I don't have an allergy. Don't apologize, please.” Kihyun was sitting across from him on the bathroom floor, eyes wide and lips parted by rough exhales. “I just ate too quickly and upset my stomach. Don't worry about it.” He tried to smile for reassurance. Kihyun's gaze changed to a piercing stare. “We both know that's a lie.” He was pulled up and led to the sink. “You clearly panicked but I'm not going to pry.” Kihyun's hands gripped his hips for balance. He still shouldn't be using his knee but he had to wash up and he wasn't completely handicapped, at least, not yet. He remembers the time when he couldn't use his right arm because those sniffing dogs broke it in several places. He was thankful for it wasn't his dominant hand. They still were the worst months he'd passed because of what they did to him.

“Thank you.” He met Kihyun's eyes through the mirror. He didn't want to share things, not when he was used to living his life alone and wasn't used to talking about himself further than an introduction about his name and age. He really appreciated how they all didn't try to extract information from him or force him to explain why he was the way they found him. It occurred to him that, logically speaking, they needed to know. After all, who picks up a stranger from an alley, beat up and bleeding, treats their wounds, offers them food and a place to stay without trying to know further? Sure, maybe they knew his name and a few more things about what he does for a living or his studies through Kyungil and Hyunwoo, but that was it. No one knew any further and certainly not them. He would have been more than thrilled to say that there was nothing special about him but that was not the truth. There was more than anyone could believe. He himself found it hard sometimes to think of his never ending struggle with a gang he never intended to be involved with. His only goal while living his life was to be invisible, but no matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried to be unnoticed, he ended up having the spotlight because he was quirky, unique. An enigma to other people.

Kihyun shook his head and handed him a towel, his other arm was around his waist to hold him up.

“I'm sorry. I'm not used to- to talking about myself with others. Although I believe you need an explanation, I'm not good with words.” He gripped the towel tightly as he freed himself from Kihyun's hold and leaned his back on the sink. Kihyun took a step back and looked down, focusing his gaze on his injured knee.

“Like I said, I'm not going to pry. Whatever you want to share is up to you. Although,” Kihyun chuckled suddenly. Eyes turning into crescent moons and dimples adorned his upper cheeks, just below his eyes. “You don't know who I am or who Minhyuk and Hyunwoo are. So I don't see why you would worry about telling us anything.” He held his right hand up and smiled. Changkyun felt stupid for thinking he wanted to shake his hand, but there was no other explanation he could come up with so he curled his fingers around the slightly bigger hand and looked up at Kihyun, eyes wide with no clue of what the other one wanted him to do with his hand. “Yoo Kihyun. 20, and majoring in theater arts. Nice to meet you. And you are?” Shaking his hand slightly. Kihyun scratched the back of his head and waited for him to do the same.

He cleared his throat a little. “Im Changkyun. I'm 18 and my major is Computer Information Sciences.”

“So you can hack?” Kihyun asked cheerfully.

“Basically, yes.” He chuckled. “Nice to meet you too.” Grinning, he met Kihyun's eyes and shook his hand back.  
“Now that we've officially met… in my bathroom...how exciting!” Kihyun stepped closer to him, a hand still holding his and pulled him away from the sink to wrap his left arm around his back. “Let's get you back to bed so you can rest.” Supporting his weight, Kihyun led him to his room. The moment they were in sight, Minhyuk jumped up from his sitting position and ran the few steps to them.

“Are you ok? Still feeling unwell?” He asked as he came on his other side and helped him to the bed. Changkyun noticed the lack of boxes and napkins from before as he stepped on the carpet and sat down on the bed.

“I'm ok now. I just felt a little unwell. I'm sorry for worrying you.”

Minhyuk and Kihyun exchanged gazes that went unnoticed by him.

Once he had a pillow under his knee, Minhyuk distanced himself a little, biting his lower lip. Changkyun could see that he had something to say but found it hard to do so.

“Kyungil said he'll come visit you whenever he's free. Probably tomorrow.” He blurted in one go and looked up at him with puppy eyes. “I don't know how you'd feel about that.”

Changkyun sighed and leaned on the headboard. “He would come even if you tell him not to.”

“Hyunwoo did but he insisted.” Minhyuk replied.

“I'm totally fine with it. I should be the one worried about you having extra guests all of a sudden because of me. Me included.” He looked between Kihyun and Minhyuk. The former simply shrugged.

“Nah. Don't worry about it, silly.” He ruffled his already messy hair making him pout. Minhyuk laughed, pointing at his hair. He might have looked like a whole bird nest or some old mop. “Kyungil is a friend and he comes round with Hyunwoo sometimes. Nothing new. And you,” Kihyun squinted his eyes at him. “Don't make me say it again after this or else. You're welcomed here so don't thank us or apologize again.” Kihyun patted his hair back to place, fingernails barely scratching his scalp.

“What he said.” Minhyuk seconded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To clarify, Kyungil is History's Kyungil. An old disbanded group but like they say, old but gold.
> 
> I don't usually touch on topics like the ones in this chapter (and in the chapters I have written of this work) so I can make a lot of mistakes but hopefully there won't be as I will try my best.  
> Can't wait to see you in the next chapter.


	2. It's Hard To See In The Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, lovelies~ I'm back with another monster after three weeks, not that I intended to, but tada! Enjoy reading ; )
> 
> There aren't any warnings for this chapter. Only that a glimpse of Changkyun's life is revealed.
> 
> The usual, stars mark the beginning and end of flashbacks and what is in italics is a characters thoughts.

Changkyun spent the rest of the week's afternoons and evenings cooped up in Kihyun's bed with the company Minhyuk and anime. The two surprisingly matched well and kept him busy when he was stressing over missing school and his shifts even if Kyungil personally reassured him that it was fine and that he could work extra hours after getting better.

He never understood why he could be a soft spot for the older man but somehow he was. Kyungil showed up twice that week to check up on him. The first time he did, he was so worried and kept fussing over Changkyun when he found out that he was hurt but refused to be checked up and asking if Changkyun had recognized any of his attackers to which Changkyun denied of course. That day, Kyungil told him he was like a son to him, in the confinement of Kihyun and Minhyuk's living room when the two were present alongside him and Hyunwoo. It was a day to remember. He even went to his school and informed the faculty that he was sick and that he would be skipping a few days like some sort of legal guardian.

So Changkyun, and after Kyungil and Kihyun's teamed hounding, focused on getting better while trying to work a plan for how to manage his school work and shifts next week, staring at the ceiling or striking conversations with the bunny he had learned its name was Moon all in those late mornings and early afternoons before one of his two hosts showed up and either pestered him to eat or to dive into some anime series.

Kihyun got really angry every time he found out that he hadn't gone to the kitchen for the lunch he left for him so he'd learned to cut down the time he stared at a wall and replace it with shoveling down some food until he could no more. The elder boy was visibly happy whenever he did.

Minhyuk seemed to be a real anime enthusiast and liked to binge watch and rewatch Boku no Hero Academia for some odd reason. Changkyun didn't mind, the show was fun and he liked each passing episode, especially with Minhyuk explaining every scene and event he found hard to understand, besides, the company was much welcomed after a long day of having nothing to do.

So when Friday rolled by, they were halfway through the second season, the ending song playing pretty loudly for a normal human to sleep but it had been long since he fell asleep. Minhyuk didn't have class that day so he made sure to drive Changkyun insane by making him do every little thing together since the moment he woke him up so early that he had used up all his energy by early evening.

Just when Minhyuk was about to play the next episode, he heard a soft whimper that made him pause and look down to see that the small boy had fallen asleep. His head rested on Minhyuk's thigh with a hand curled in the fabric of his grey sweats. Small puffs of air left his parted lips as his chest rose and fell evenly. He almost squealed at the sight, stopping himself just in time and leaned forward a little to be able to close his laptop.

There was another whimper, a louder one. It made Minhyuk's blood freeze. He took in Changkyun's expression of pain and the sweat droplets beginning to form on his forehead. It all meant one thing, especially with the ragged breaths moving his chest almost painfully. He was having a nightmare.

“Changkyun?” Minhyuk tried to be as gentle as possible and shook his bony shoulder lightly. The only response was the boy clutching the fabric of his sweats tighter. “Changkyun-ah.” He tried again several times but it was like his calls fell on deaf ears. The boy just wouldn't wake up. His whimpers got louder but never too loud, muffled in the duvet as his head slid down Minhyuk's thigh and his body was curled into a ball.

Minhyuk was at a loss of words. How could he not wake up? No matter what he tried. Shaking his body, asking him verbally to open his eyes, calling his name in between and even lifting him up on his own lap.

He hugged the boy's small frame, balled up in a tiny mass of limbs and mostly clothes, and started to whisper soothing words in his ear. Hoping that the ‘it's just a dream’ and ‘it's ok, don't be afraid’ would help ease the boy, Minhyuk kept whispering those words to him and caressing his hair. He felt stupid at first. Him, a twenty-two years old having an eighteen years old boy on his lap. Basically a baby and trying to comfort him about his nightmares although he had no idea how to. However, as soon as the boy's whimpers got a little lower and his breathing evened a little, Minhyuk saw the use of his hugs.

He continued to caress Changkyun's back gently and reassure him that he was by his side, that he got him. He couldn't help but wonder about the reason Changkyun was unresponsive to his words at first, eyebrows furrowed while he studied the boy's features for some clue or explanation as he rested his head on the pillows. Blond locks covered his eyes in a way that enticed Minhyuk to brush them away from his forehead and run his fingers through the softness that was Changkyun's hair.

After making sure that he was sleeping peacefully, Minhyuk snuck out of the room and closed the door softly behind him. It was nearing 8 pm and judging by the smell of food, Kihyun could only be in one place. The kitchen. 

He sighed briefly and took a seat on one of the stools. Kihyun didn't spare him a glance, he was busy with his pots and pans and running from the oven to the fridge like he had to make food for a gala.

Minhyuk rolled his eyes. “Ki,” he new that whenever his friend is anxious or stressing over something, he would cook loads of food. 

“Oh! Hey, Min. Thank God you came!” Kihyun looked fidgety. He wiped at his forehead with his forearm and pointed at a plate. “Please taste this and give me feedback. I feel like I ruined it.” Minhyuk complied.

He didn't know what Kihyun meant by ruining a dish because when he brought the spoon that was filled with various vegetables and melted cheese to his lips, he felt his eyes water at how delicious the mix tasted. “ _Holy shit_!” He mouthed. He swallowed quickly and held his thumbs up. “Ki, that tasted terrific. It's a yes from me.” 

Kihyun's shoulders deflated as he sighed in relief. “Thank you, Min.” He smiled. “I tried something new. Original. I thought I put a wrong combo of flavours, but I'm glad you liked it.”

“Of course,” Minhyuk cut another piece and inserted it in his mouth. His eyes rolled back automatically and he hummed in glee. “It tastes like heaven!” He said making Kihyun jump up and down. He ran to the oven after his mini celebratory dance of success and brought out more anonymous dishes that were most probably his own creation.

“So,” Minhyuk started. “What's making you cook your stress away?” He analyzed Kihyun's form. From his jittery hands to how he kept biting his lips and how he dropped a fork a total of four times before finally being able to lift it properly. 

Kihyun whipped his head in his direction and stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights. “Why?” He tilted his head. “Did I ruin something?”

Minhyuk shook his head. “All is cooked very well but that isn't the point of my question.” He rested his chin on his palms as his elbows met the marbles of the counter top. “What's on your mind?” 

Kihyun finished plating a few more dishes, decorating them and pouring mixes of sauces and whatnot. Minhyuk watched his best friend throughout it all, giving him time till he felt comfortable to speak. “I just,” Kihyun started as he handed him a glass of juice and sat opposite from him. “I've got a lot on my mind.”

“Because of the kid?” Kihyun nodded. “Honestly, same.” Kihyun looked up at him questionably. “I actually came to talk to you about him.” He dropped all playfulness and looked his best friend in the eyes. “I don't think Changkyun is anywhere near fine. We know he was attacked but who were they and why? And when you asked him if he had anywhere to take care of him, I'm sure there's none but he's only eighteen and what scares me the most is that a couple of minutes ago,” Minhyuk pointed in the general direction of the bedroom he just came from, “he had a nightmare when he fell asleep. You'd say it is completely normal but hear me out.” Kihyun nodded. “I tried everything to wake him up but it was like he was stuck in there. No matter how many times I called his name or shook his body, he wouldn't open his eyes.” Minhyuk sighed. “I think the only reason he stopped suffering in his sleep is because the nightmare ended.”

“But you woke him up this morning and had no trouble doing it.” Kihyun frowned.

“Yeah, there's that but I'm talking about his nightmare, Ki. He was stuck in his sleep because of it and seemed so hurt.” Minhyuk pouted.

“I had one or two things in mind stressing me out and then you came and confirmed them all and this... Wow!” Kihyun closed his eyes and sighed.

“Do we ask h--"

“We wait.” Kihyun interrupted firmly. “I wouldn't spill the beans about who I was if I were anywhere near his position right now.” Minhyuk looked like he was about to say something back but stopped when Kihyun proceeded. “He'll come around if he's comfortable enough. If not, then, so be it. I won't pressure him even if I feel like I'm drowning in worry, like, Min, would you look at the kitchen?” Minhyuk chuckled at that. He shook his head, still smiling.

“Alright. I'll do as you wish for now.”

“Oh and,” Kihyun bit his lip. “Speaking of the kitchen and stuff, it's time for dinner so…”

“I got this.” Minhyuk jumped down from his seat and went back to his best friend's room to wake the sleeping boy up.

Only the three of them gathered around the kitchen table, Hyunwoo excluded as he went back to his own apartment earlier. Kihyun felt like diving from a cliff. He really cooked for a gala. But thankfully, they were all hungry after a long day and managed to enjoy the dishes he made, traditional or not.

“Is it always this extravagant?” Changkyun was curious. He made it sound like he was talking about their dinner but he lowkey meant everything in the apartment of the two best friends. 

He didn't miss the tags of famous brands on their clothes, the ones that they shared with him included, or the decor of the bedroom he slept in and the bathroom it had was the definition of luxury. The living room had a smart tv and various gaming sets hooked to it. The sofa was like a cloud and the carpets everywhere were so clean and fuzzy that none of those items looked anywhere near cheap. Considering it was an apartment of two college boys, the double fridge, grill, oven and the modern everything about the kitchen was a bit too much for mere college students to afford. Changkyun found himself thinking back at his own apartment and his belongings there. He didn't know the price of everything the other two owned but it seemed somewhere near him selling everything he owned and his organs and robbing banks, several ones while he's at it.

Kihyun looked up from the pan he was rinsing. “Huh? The dinner?” Minhyuk snorted at how scandalized Kihyun looked.

Changkyun glanced between the two boys for a few seconds. “Yeah… it's like… isn't it too much for three people or don't you think so? I mean you must be used to uhh…” he gestured about with his hands, “All this?”

Kihyun was quick to answer. “Or maybe I just wanted to flex,” he shrugged. “How did you like my cooking?” a grin found its way on his lips as he waited for the boy's answer. He tended to distract one's attention easily to feel less pressured. And Changkyun's wide eyes that roamed on the empty table were a sign that he succeeded.

It looked like the small boy was trying to collect suitable vocabulary by trying to remember what kinds of dishes were present not long ago on the wooden surface in front of him. “I believe you've successfully shown the amount of skill you have and it impressed me.” Changkyun cleared his throat. “Your cooking is honestly amazing.” He concluded.

Minhyuk had his eyebrow raised at the first comment. And he was surprised at how his best friend dodged the question. “Dude, you sounded like some evaluator.” He clamped his hand on Changkyun's shoulder with a bit too much force.

“I…” he cleared his throat. “I got nervous,” he admitted. “I don't usually express my opinions even if asked directly.” _And it would have been rude to ignore his question or act ignorant of how good he is at cooking._

That was too random a confession and it made him get all embarrassed and flushed. But he couldn't hide things that easily if confronted. Thankfully that rule applied to only the majority of the matters related to him. Some stuff, he keeps well hidden. The important ones.

“Cute.” Minhyuk ruffled his hair, chuckling when that earned him a pout. “Say,” Minhyuk started. “How are you feeling?” He rested his chin on his palms while keeping his elbows on the table for support. 

“Better than this morning. Not at all bad.” Minhyuk nodded at that.

“Awesome. Up for more anime? I'm feeling like Youjo Senki.” He squinted his eyes at Changkyun. “You kinda remind me of her.”

Changkyun was confused to say the very least. “Excuse me? What?”

“You know, Tanya is blonde and so are you. Mysterious, small, you get the drill.” He shrugged.

Kihyun sighed, turning to face them with a kitchen towel in his hands as he dried them. “First of all, Minhyuk, she's evil-”

“Not. You didn't even watch the series. How would you know?”

“I don't know, Minhyuk. Wasn't it you who referred to her as Tanya the Evil and then proceeded to freak out whenever she got angry. Dude, you got amnesia?” He sat down and handed Changkyun a glass of juice. The latter thanked him and sipped it carefully. _Uhm! Peach!_ “Besides, it'll give him nightmares. She's freaky.” Noticing how Changkyun was satisfied with the flavour of his juice, Kihyun sneaked his arm around his neck and patted his head.

“Whatever you say, Ki. You're only saying that because you didn't actually watch the anime.” Minhyuk huffed.

“And please don't make me, Min. Not me and certainly not Kyun.” 

Upon hearing the nickname, Changkyun looked up from the glass in his hands. “I don't mind watching horror.” He looked between the two best friends with cute round eyes. “Really?” Kihyun grinned. “What else do you enjoy?” Changkyun shrugged. “I enjoy watching movies. Mystery, thriller, animation. You name it. Oh, and fantasy. I love vampires and werewolves. I'm a sucker for those.”

“Quick question.” Minhyuk jumped in. “Captain America or Iron Man?” He asked as if it was the most important question in the world. Changkyun shook his head. “Neither. I'm all in for deadpool.”

“Dude! What?” Minhyuk leaned back in his chair with confusion written all over his face. “For real?” Changkyun nodded.

“That's a first.” Kihyun commented and sipped his drink that looked suspiciously like wine but Changkyun won't judge.

“Favorite movie?” Minhyuk questioned.

“Two that I can think of right now. Perfume and Harry Potter.” 

Kihyun nearly choked on his drink. _Holy shit! Perfume?!_

“Oh! oh! Wait, I got a good one.” Minhyuk eyed Kihyun briefly and leaned forward, eyes fixated on Changkyun. “Hogwarts house?” He smiled expectantly.

Changkyun shrugged again. “That one is easy.” He took a sip of his juice. Smacking his lips, he grinned. “Ravenclaw.”

Minhyuk sighed and shook his head. “I literally expected anything but that one…”

“But hey, it makes sense.” Kihyun quipped. “No, for real. You don't seem like one but you're not a Slytherin, per se. Me and Minhyuk are but that's explainable.”

“Twin devils.” Changkyun looked over at Minhyuk who was gesturing between him and Kihyun. He chuckled.

“So you're sly?” 

“Shrewd I'd say.” Kihyun nodded in agreement. “And you're of wit?” he said soon after.

“I aspire to be wise. Knowledge is all I dream of having, really.” He looked down at his juice, missing the way Kihyun's eyes widened. He managed to school his expression quickly and smiled over at Minhyuk who bit back the comment that his friend had metaphorical stars in his eyes because, simply, he'd deny he did.

“Admirable. But one can't be book smart in real life.” Minhyuk stood up and walked over to the counter. Only then did Changkyun notice that there was indeed an open bottle of red wine. He poured himself a glass and sat back down opposite from the two males. “You need to be, and I am quoting you, sly; to live.” He turned the wine in his glass and watched it slush from side to side. Looking back beyond the burgundy waves, Minhyuk watched the boy seem lost in thought. Because of his words? He wasn't sure. Maybe, he made it sound like wanting to learn is a lacking dream.

“Then how is it that you want to achieve wisdom?” Kihyun's voice cut Changkyun's train of thoughts. He had a hand on his cheek as he looked over at him with his head tilted to the side.

_Does he get drunk on wine?_

Changkyun studied Kihyun's face. Carefully observing the length of his eyelashes as he blinked at him stupidly slow. He slid his palms on the wooden surface in front of them and bent one arm to rest his flushed cheek on it and continued to look Changkyun's way, waiting for a reply. But Changkyun was busy being enchanted by the male in front of him.

Despite having watched him, seemingly, carelessly lay his head down. It seemed like he got each movement calculated. Elbow bent meticulously to allow him the comfort of supporting his head, wine glass pushed to the farthest corner of the table but not on edge although he didn't spare it a glance, his hair was splayed on his forearm and across his forehead, only a lock of hair was poking his eye and that too, to Changkyun, was a calculated move. Because to his dismay and the health of his heart, Kihyun moved his other hand up and caught the stray lock between his pointer finger and thumb. He carefully moved it out of his vision field and rested his hand on the table near his face. It was torture to watch. Kihyun moved the nail of his thumb across his lower lip, dragging it agonizingly slow and with enough pressure to cause his lips to part slightly. In addition to all of that, his eyes were still opening and closing painstakingly slow and his cheeks were dusted pink, a colour darkening with each passing moment. 

Changkyun honestly felt like choking.

“By living,” he heard himself say. Oddly enough, his voice was level. Kihyun hummed and glanced at him. “I mean, experiencing life is the best way to learn what to do and not to when faced with any type of situation.”

“Naive.” Kihyun mouthed, slightly above a whisper.

“Sorry?” Changkyun thought he heard wrong.

Kihyun tsked disapprovingly, eyes fixated on his fingernails. “Each new situation according to you, is a way of experiencing something different but you act through that with your raw self.” Kihyun chanced a glance his way. “Each time you prove to the universe your foolishness and shed a part of you that was supposed to be… preserved.” Kihyun looked away and sighed. “But it's optimistic. Your way of thinking. Admirable, and cute.”

Changkyun was confused, then he felt small and stupid but at that, he became outright offended. He was seething.

Not only was he pointed out to be foolish by trusting his optimistic beliefs and running behind his goal, blinded from reality by his hope, but he was also called cute. Cute. If his was that kind of stupid he'd take it for its literal meaning and even that would be a full offence. But what the male in front of him meant by that is the kind of cute that implied innocence, lack of worldly experience and overall wisdom that he craved. Cute... foolish and naive, but optimistic and hopeful.

That's an insult.

“How am I at fault for thinking that the best way of learning is by striving to do so?” Changkyun managed to say despite the other million words he had at the tip of his tongue.

“You'd be vying if you follow your plan.” Kihyun's voice was calm, so calm that it irritated him.

“And? that's bad?” Changkyun fumed, tone not that controlled. 

“Rivaling life itself for superiority? Are you drunk or do you not realise that you lose and keep losing until you no longer care about what you gave up or what you're giving up in the next confrontation?”

Changkyun gritted his teeth. “I'm not drunk. Maybe you are for you don't realise that maybe, those things aren't that important to survive. That maybe, they were there to be sacrificed since birth.”

Kihyun gave him a good look and narrowed his eyes.

“Since birth you say? What does a standard human have then, as a newborn? Parents, a family, then a bunch of childhood memories and teen craze and fetishes that might go further in life and become habits that one has to live because they were spoiled, wrong but never corrected, got corrupted but never cared about amending. That's sample number one. They never have to choose what to lose because they can't see that they are already at loss, mannerisms-wise and such. There's another newborn who got literally everything they'd wish for but hear this, it's just material possessions and wealth because all that person grew up to want is some affection from the right people and that person would eventually never think twice before throwing everything once they have enough, simply because everything that's there is not what they want and no matter how much they try, there's nothing to exchange for what they want apart from their sanity and that's me beautifying giving up. I recommend that.” Kihyun extended his arm to pat Changkyun on the back.

Changkyun was first taken aback but the comprehension finally downed on him and he just blinked, kept blinking as his vision got clouded and he couldn't register why everything became blurry suddenly. He felt wetness on his cheeks and wiped at them standing hastily that he sent the chair squeaking on the tiles loudly. Minhyuk who had left unnoticed to answer a phone call returned quickly to the kitchen at that loud sound and almost bumped into Changkyun who was exiting it in a hurry. The latter lowered his gaze and tried to turn around him but failed when Minhyuk caught his arm. "Hey, why..what happened?" Changkyun didn't answer, wiping a stray tear and shaking his head.

"I gotta go." He choked out. Home. Maybe he never considered it as such but it was better than being in a foreign place and getting brutally attacked. He just wanted to be anywhere but in the apartment he was in.

Kihyun had just dismissed everything he's done his whole life to stay alive, not even trying to acknowledge how not all people fall under those two categories because Changkyun never had to sacrifice people and other worldly possessions. He couldn't blame him for making him feel like an outcast because his curse was that he was born to live alone and have nothing but lose everything all the way till he dies alone one day. He'd accepted it since he was eleven but it didn't make him immune to the pain that stemmed from being reminded of his reality. All he wished for is to build himself for himself no matter what it cost. He was beyond pitying himself and asking the universe why it had to be him because it had always been him and the right question was what he was going to do about it. But what Kihyun had recommended is to give up trying to do anything for oneself. Like accepting the fate of having nothing changed and just being alive and not living. That hurt him, a lot. Maybe Kihyun was mad at the world for whatever reasons he had, but by no means did that grant him the right to set fire to Changkyun's beliefs, hopes and aspiration to do better, be better, work harder and learn more and make the best of his time and live alive.

"What do you mean go?" He gestured at Changkyun's hand clutching the door frame to support the weight his injured leg couldn't. "You can't walk and I won't let you leave." 

Kihyun stood up from where he sat, confusion written all over his face. "It's too late. You can't be planning to leave at this hour anyways." His mind was hazy but that much clarity was still present. Minhyuk nodded. "Spend the night and tomorrow you can go back home. If you need anything from there then I'll gladly lend it to you, just stay here tonight, how does that sound?" He brought a hand to pat Changkyun's hair but he didn't let him, dodging Minhyuk's hand and attempting to walk past him aiming for the door.

"Would you stop trying to run?" The firmness of Kihyun's voice caught them off guard. "I already told you, I'm not letting you leave until you're healed." Changkyun who had his hand gripping the doorknob stilled.

Kihyun was sure he had upset him somehow, he didn't know why but that much was obvious. Whatever it was didn't require he left the house at a late hour when he could barely walk while he was crying on top of it all.

Kihyun was talking out of spite, biased and put people in two categories only. Himself and his father. Therefore he put Changkyun out, as if an outcast. He didn't realize he knew nothing about Changkyun and however he looked at it, the way Changkyun started to cry suddenly, he knew he said something he shouldn't have said. Everything he uttered must have stirred something in Changkyun pretty badly, and it sure was a sore spot. 

"I'm sorry if I said something that upset you." He was behind him now, voice so near it made him tremble. "I admit being foolish and working my mouth uselessly and hurting you but please don't leave." He felt warmth envelop him slowly. First a chest being pressed to his back and then arms wrapping around him till a hand was pressed on his trying to pry it from the doorknob. "Changkyun, please. I'm really sorry." He was sure Kihyun had no idea what he was apologizing for. That frustrated him but he couldn't bring himself to be angry. Why get angry at someone who knew nothing, there was no point.

He moved to the side abruptly, losing any sort of contact with the man behind him and pulled the door open. Throwing an "I'm going for a walk," over his shoulder, loud enough for Minhyuk to hear him, he let the door fall in the lock behind him as he flew down the stairs as quick as his knee allowed him and he was soon met with the cold of the night.

Maybe he got lost in the streets of Seoul that night. He just walked mindlessly, not noticing the people staring at him like he was crazy or the ones pitying him for crying. It took him so long to find his way back to the building he remembered vaguely but he had left all hurt and tears for the cold of the night to feed on because as he stepped inside, he was fiery with a new determination to not give up just yet.

"Jesus, Kyun! I thought something bad happened to you." Minhyuk forced the air out of his lungs as he slammed into him the moment he opened the door. "Where the fuck have you been? It's 2 am you piece of shit. You scared me." His tongue rolled profanities right into his ear but with a voice as shaky as the arms that were secured around him.

"I told you I--"

"Don't," Minhyuk sniffled, making him puzzled.

"...went for a walk.. Minhyuk are you crying?"

"Don't ever leave like that for fuck's sake!" He tightened the hug.

Changkyun was at a loss of words. The boy here didn't even know him but apparently cared enough that him leaving made him cry out of fright but,

"Why?" 

He buried his nose in his freezing cold neck, and Changkyun registered vaguely the wetness. "I thought you hated us and decided to never come back."

"Min I.." He sighed. "I don't hate you." Minhyuk broke the hug to stare at him. "Then why did you just go?" He held him at arms length, staring into his soul with such sad eyes that Changkyun couldn't bear maintaining eye contact.

"I just needed to clear my mind and think of what I need to do next." He shook his head. "I can't possibly hate you when you welcomed me and took care of me for over a week but I can't keep counting on you." He met Minhyuk's gaze and smiled a little. "I'm very thankful for everything you did for me, both of you. I can't imagine how anyone would take in someone like me and welcome them with open arms. I will be forever indebted to you, both of you and Hyunwoo hyung too. You need to go back to your lives and so will I." He stepped away from him, not looking up to meet Minhyuk's widened eyes.

"Changkyun,"

"I just got back to.." He stepped closer to the door he just went in from. "Tell Kihyun I said thank you."

"Changkyun what the fuck?" 

Kihyun was a light sleeper, but he didn't need to be woken up to hear that. He hadn't slept.

He scrambled to exit his room, he wasn't sure why his friend was shouting this late or why he was stupefied when he reached him.

"What's wrong, Min?"

☆☆☆

Changkyun ran away again. This time, his destination was Seoul. He aimed for a new world, new life, but Seoul was a cruel place for outsiders. One could lay low and remain hidden, like a needle in a haystack, but one must learn to survive there first lest the city chews and gobbles them down.

Of course, Changkyun wasn't expecting any less of the capital. He came prepared, if his preparation proved to be lacking, he was ready to adjust. Adapting wasn't a concession, it helped him grow. If he had to do the same things again then so be it.

He had used up every penny he earned in Busan and Gwangju combined on his university fees and could barely afford an apartment after acquiring textbooks and a laptop.

He only did what he was best at doing so he went for it but oddly enough, his new employer wanted him as far as possible from anything dangerous, as if Kyungil really wanted him to be safe because he mattered. 

And he did. After all, Changkyun was only 18 when he started working for him and he wanted him safe because he really cared for the small kid with big dreams. Unbeknownst to Changkyun, he scored Kyungil as someone who cared for him deeply and he slowly became a soft spot for the man.

It took some getting used to, to be fair, but they got there at some point. Changkyun never made it easy, with his brattiness and stubbornness. Kyungil had to go through a lot, put very simply.

★★★

"No, Kyun. Behind the bar only. I'll make sure you work your ass off to pay you as much as you want but you're nor going anywhere near the private rooms."

★★★

"No, for the fifteenth time today, Changkyun. Just please sweep the goddamn floor and go home, you have school tomorrow. Enough about your performing craze. I won't allow it."

★★★

"Fine I allow it. God, you gave me a headache for a month. I'll let you try tonight and then we'll see."

★★★

"First of all, that was... I don't know how but I want you to keep that image. That you are untouchable because that's as far as I'm allowing you to go while working here." Came the reply after it took Changkyun a lot of: 'so?' and 'what do you think, hyung?'

The reply wasn't at all what he anticipated. "But hyung, you said you liked it. Why can't you let me try that too and judge for yourself." 

"I meant that I liked the professionalism and distance you kept with everyone even when the whole damn club was staring at you. Again, Changkyun, if I see you within six meters radius from any of the private rooms, your head goes down with your dick, understood?"

Changyun was exasperated. "Why can't you just let me prove to you that I can do it and that it will be fine? I'm not twelve!"

"You got it backwards. There's nothing for you to prove to me, you little shit. There's no way you could be twelve because I've never seen a twelve year old act like you and I've seen loads of people in my life, all of them were nowhere near being as mature as you. And they were triple your age, Kkukkung."

He scrunched his nose in disgust. "Ugh, don't call me that. I'm going home."

"Go back safely, pup."

"Uhh... You too, hyung. God! _so embarrassing_."

"Yeah, heard that."

"Whatever~~"

☆☆☆

Upon entering his apartment, Changkyun realised several things. He was tired and running a fever. He needed to mop the place. Him, a shower. His textbooks grew claws and mouths and were snarling at him to be opened. Lastly, he needed sleep.

He then slept. A dreamless vagueness that lasted for just enough time until he could properly function.

His mattress knew him all too well. It bent his back and engulfed his body in its usual lack of comfortableness until his muscles protested loud and begged for relief. He awoke to the soft touch of the early morning light that threw a faint glow on the walls and ceiling painting his surroundings lilac. There wasn't enough illumination or warmth at aurora and he relished in the scent of moist soil and dewy leaves seeping into the room through the cracked window pointing east. The sun, as he came to notice on summer mornings, shone through that same window and set the wall opposite from it ablaze with its golden rays. On a clear autumn day, it would blind him directly if he made the mistake of forgoing to draw the blinds the night prior. At least, on weekends, when he stays in late until sunrise and needs to be compelled to kick the blanket.

On that cloudy November morning, and with his arm muscles strained from an odd position he'd slept in throughout the night, he sat up and stretched it to hopefully release some tension and stumbled out of bed.

His bathroom was not the most luxurious but it was enough. It provided a shower with a glass door, several racks of towels and toiletries, a sink, a mirror and the neatest, cutest toothbrush cup and soap bar holder. The set of hamster and puppy holding _paws_ always made his day. He would hate to admit to it out loud, but he certainly missed seeing them after the week of absence from his apartment where they failed to wish him good morning and goodnight. He wouldn't hold them to that, he was of course understanding.

He made sure to wash his hair thoroughly in the shower and brush his teeth as a finishing touch for his morning routine, his skin by then smelling of pomegranate since he went for that dab of sweetness in the body wash.

Embarking on his tidying journey, he began with the bedroom. He wasn't messy per se, making sure to avoid misplacing items where they did not belong which helped relieve him from the duty of carrying around piles of empty mugs and dirty clothes. Instead, he focused on the tasks that need to be taken care of. Starting from his bed, stripping it from the old sheets and exchanging them for the clean ones he kept away in the storage cabinet. He then moved to the bathroom and started doing the laundry. As the washing machine whirred and splashed water here and there, he picked up the cleaning supplies and went over the bookshelves and his desk to mop the dust that had settled since last time. The carpet and floor were next on his list, then in the living room, he did the same things again.

Once laundry was dry and folded on the sofa, wafts of scents in the air indicating the state of cleanliness of the whole place, the kitchen counter sparkling under his arms and the floor squeaky clean; he couldn't help but look around his apartment and think of how none of that was possible a mere couple of months ago.

There were times where he had nowhere to sleep and no belongings to fear they would be stolen as the streets of Busan welcomed him and the benches of the parks cupped his body during the night.

He had really come a long way to be able to afford a roof over his head, a place as nice as the one he was staying in.

A little smile curved the corners of his lips. Even if no one had to see or know, he was proud of himself, of how hard he's been fighting and will continue to for as long as he had to.

There was no stopping him from getting his degree and living a normal life that he carves himself. Those sniffing dogs were officially back and he wasn't planning on backing down, even if it meant that he will have to discuss with their leader as a last resort, he would do it until he is left alone.

He looked around for the landline and dialed the one number he needed next to tick one item off his to-do list.

He leaned against the counter and waited for several moments as the phone rang.

"Hello?" Came through the speaker.

"Oi, Ten. It's me, Changkyun." His hands were busy pouring milk into his bowl of cereal.

"Oh hey!" He could hear the smile in Ten's voice. "You haven't been coming to classes, like, ever." There was shuffling in the background. Changkyun assumed that Ten was placing the phone on his other ear. "You know I'm in all of your classes so I would know."

It was true, the two boys shared the same classes so it wasn't hard for them to start talking, especially when they were paired for the very first group project and had to exchange numbers to work. They stayed in touch ever since, doing assignments together or just chilling at a cafe on a study date.

Ten was an easy going guy. He was a foreign student from Thailand that spoke more languages than Changkyun could remember, but it was easier for they often chatted in English. Out of habit or because it was comforting, neither one knew why when they both could speak Korean well. Apart from their shared quirk of continuously conversing in English, so much that a girl at a restaurant that they went to during lunch break one day, mistook them for English people, they both liked reading books and gaming. When Ten enjoyed dancing, Changkyun himself preferred rapping, but neither one chose to major in said arts for some reason. To them, they were mere hobbies, because even if they liked sketching and writing lyrics, their true passion was computer science. So they were the two nerds who spoke English all the time and were too good at arts. Did that garner them some attention in uni? Absolutely. Everyone thought they were high school sweethearts or some other delusioned thought when they kept giggling and making jokes about things only they understood. That, of course, was not true. Even if Changkyun was bisexual and Ten was, last time he checked, pan; they were friends who clicked perfectly well. They even joked about how they would be as a couple. Never one. It just didn't work like that.

"Not that I tried to call or anything," Ten reasoned shamelessly. "Some tall, hot guy came to speak to the department head about you just as I was waiting for my turn to talk to the physics teacher because of how he'd fucked up my grade, but anyways, I heard him say that you were sick?" The last part came out as a question.

Changkyun nodded as he chewed on a spoonful of cereal before realising that it was idiotic of him because Ten couldn't see. 

He swallowed hastily before trying to answer again. "Yeah, I was."

"Changkyun," Ten's voice was suddenly serious. "I wouldn't judge or anything, but buddy, did you score a sugar daddy?"

Changkyun sputtered. "No!"

"Why so defensive?" Changkyun could envision Ten narrowing his eyes as he spoke.

"Because, you absolute shameless dumbass, Kyungil hyung is my boss." Changkyun's tone marked how obvious that truth was, as if saying _' duh!'_ to Ten's suspicious imagination.

"So _that's_ your boss? I see. When you talked about him, I imagined a hag for some reason. Why did you make him seem like one, Kyunie?" Changkyun rolled his eyes at that.

"It's hyung for you. Don't you Kyunie me, it's weird, I'm older." He heard a snort from the other end of the line.

"By like, a month. Give it up, we're the same age, babe." Ten dismissed his efforts of noting their infinitesimal age difference, or lack thereof.

"Ten, I swear to God!

It was this exact reason why they kept being misunderstood as a couple. Ten had a habit of calling him cheeky nicknames. There was a time he made him sit on his lap right outside of the lab where they were about to have a class and started braiding his hair while he kept cooing about how soft his 'baby's hair' was. The teacher just shook his head once he spotted them but the students were conspicuously gawking, more so when Ten showed up one day to the cafeteria with a purple rose between his teeth and slid across the table in front of Changkyun before kneeling on the floor and 'proposed' to take Changkyun on a study date since he was, and to quote, _close to failing math,_ because he slept through the morning lecture that day. Of course, Changkyun's first reaction was to smack him upside the head with said math textbook and then kicked his shin when he stood up, for good measure.

As much as he liked to hope, Changkyun knew that the day he would be safe from the embarrassment was further to him than the horizon.

"Alright, alright, I'll stop for today, love."

"You aren't even suave enough to pull off that one." Changkyun was losing brain cells by the minute. He rubbed his face with one hand and prayed for his friend to stop messing with him soon.

"I embody the charm of sweet talking but that isn't the point here, Kyunie." There was a significant pause, Changkyun was about to point out that he was using a pet name for him when Ten spoke again with a tone more serious than their whole conversation up until then. "Joking aside, how are you doing really?"

Their friendship was only a four months period and counting, but Ten was the only person who knew anything at all about Changkyun.

The reason he knew who Kyungil was to Changkyun was the result of the latter's many rants about how he was continuously treated like a child by his boss when he wasn't one. Ten had asked about what was up with said boss, thinking that he was a mean or perverted old fart, in Ten's words. However, Changkyun broke into another more detailed rant about his work place, not noticing Ten's widening eyes or the amount of times he said he could perform an intricate routine of exotic dance with zero accidents because he was busy letting out his fury at how Kyungil was still not going to let him try even when there were no customers on a dead night.

"You fucker can dance," Ten paused to smack his upper arm, "and let _me_ boast about dance abilities," another smack on Changkyun's shoulder, "and modern dance nonsense," he pinched Changkyun's cheek, "to _your_ face without a single comment about exotic dance!" he shook his head, a dramatic sigh leaving his lips, and took his hands back. Not that Changkyun would protest, his cheek hurt. Changkyun also knew that there wasn't anything negative that could stem from Ten knowing about where he worked. His new friend was more trustworthy than the very ones he grew up with. And he proved himself to be just that when all his sulkiness directed to Changkyun was because of his refusal to teach him the basics of exotic dance. He didn't judge Changkyun and that was more than he could ask for.

With time, they talked more and more about their lives, where they came from and how they ended up in SNU and doing the exact same courses.

Changkyun learned that Ten was only a month younger and that he chose something practical to pursue his studies in because his parents refused to allow him to choose dance for major despite how bad he wanted it. He came from a Thai father and a Chinese mother who'd been living in Korea for the past seven years. He also was living alone in Seoul since his family was back in Jeju, "I could fly over there when I need to, although I still haven't. They usually come visit me before going to my grandparents back in Thailand. We used to go there often but I've been busy preparing for my entrance exam so I stopped going in the past couple of years. I might this Christmas, go to China too to see my sister."

When Ten spoke lengthily about his family, Changkyun stated that it was only him, foregoing to mention any details about how he ended up living alone in Seoul since January and that he came there from Gwangju, his birthplace. When he told Ten that it always fascinated him to see a perfectly functioning computer and that it intrigued him to know how that worked in detail hence why he was in SNU, they both delved into talking about coding for hours in between their project work, the first ever of many that followed and proved how bright they were as individuals and the almost perfect team they made together.

So to say that Ten knew a lot about Changkyun was saying a lot. He was aware of his situation overall and even if it worried and puzzled him nonstop, he never pried, trusting that if he was ever needed, he would make sure to offer the help he could.

He knew their dynamic now by heart. Changkyun would go through hell on his own and come to him as a last resort. Even when he heard that the blond boy was sick and the mysterious guy came to notify the teachers that he would be skipping classes for a few days, Ten knew better than to call, so he waited for Changkyun himself to do so. And, he did eventually. But Ten was growing anxious, he danced around the bush expecting an update from Changkyun without having to ask. When there was none, he decided to, fuck it, here, just ask. 

“I got mugged, so that’s that.” Was Changkyun’s answer eventually. Ten tried to formulate a sentence, in his surprise, only letting out half spoken words and a shriek of “what?”

Changkyun belatedly realised how worrying that statement was and scrambled to explain himself in a less worrying, more reassuring way.

“Like, there were a lot of them and- he.. I ran but they caught--” Ten was chanting ‘ _oh my God! ’_ in his ear the more he spoke and it made him lose words, that resulted in more chaos to ensue and louder gasps from his friend on the other end of the line. He paused. Honestly so done with Ten’s dramatics until he had enough. There was no point explaining anything to Ten through the phone.

“Im Changkyun, I am coming to your apartment in fucking five and you had better open the damn door.”

Absolutely _no_ point.

  
  


True to his words, Ten’s Tesla was parked right outside Changkyun’s building, its owner stormed up the stairs and furiously began to ring the bell in five minutes flat.

Changkyun opened the door to his wide eyed friend who started to look him up and down for any sign of damage left on his body from a week ago.

When he found none visible, he tugged at Changkyun’s sleeve and turned him around to see anything on his back view.

Changkyun, unamused, let himself be turned around in every possible direction, feeling like a doll in the hands of a merciless toddler, until he was faced with Ten’s scandalized face that had reached maximum intensity.

“Changkyun, what the hell happened?” The blond boy suppressed the urge to roll his eyes at Ten’s worried tone and tugged him inside the apartment before swinging the entrance door shut.

“I’m not talking to you until you calm down.” He walked further into his apartment and took his spot near the stove, calmly flipping the sausages he began frying before Ten knocked down his front door.

Ten was ready to start throwing hands, Changkyun’s calmness irking him instead of easing him.

It took some time for him to stop fidgeting and eyeing Changkyun like a hawk to gauge any sort of abnormality in his posture. By then, the counter top shouldered two plates of fried rice with sausages and two glasses of orange juice.

Changkyun motioned for him to take a seat and he complied. They dug in, very few words exchanged apart from Ten’s polite comment about the delicious lunch and Changkyun’s nod and small _‘I’m glad you like it.’_

“So,” Ten started, when the silence stretched for a relatively long period.

“Don’t play with your food, Ten.” said boy set his utensils down and turned to the right, his torso facing Changkyun showcased what had his full attention.

"Kyun, I'm worried. You've been gone for a week and you were.. did they.. Are you hurt?" 

The worry in Ten's tone made him smile his lop-sided smile. Not because he made his friend worry, God forbid he was that cruel. Ten worrying about him in the first place was what made him feel important, like he meant something to someone after a really long time of not having a single soul to care about him. Not until now, because now Ten cared, so much that he worried if he was hurt and came to his apartment in a flash after hearing an iota of what had happened.

As much as Changkyun appreciated and valued his concern, Ten couldn't know of the bloody details. It wasn't that he didn't deserve to know. It was never about what people deserved from him. Their safety was what Changkyun cared to preserve more and Ten was already worried enough as it was. Him knowing everything was pointless, Changkyun preferred telling him what he needed to know and could handle. The last thing he would want to do is force entitlement into Ten's head and drive him to believe he was obliged to help and do things for Changkyun when it wasn't his place or time. Friends were far from being just that. Sometimes a fight is not theirs and this was Changkyun's own. 

With that belief in mind, Changkyun chose his next words carefully, turning to disclose to a panicking Ten the important things that went down in exactly nine days, including that very Saturday. Mainly, that he got- like he mentioned on the phone- mugged on a Thursday night and was hurt enough for friends of a friend of Kyungil to take care of him for a week until he was feeling a lot better and could come back home.

"And it wasn't because I was dying in that week, Ten." He glared pointedly at his friend who was fretting about just that and even voiced his concern. Changkyun shook his head and continued, "they just saw that I should stay with them a little longer because it was for the better somehow since they wanted to keep an eye on me as they kept looking after me."

Ten nodded, understanding finally downing on him so he stopped working his head miles per minute. And Changkyun appreciated that quite a bit.

"So, this Kihyun and Minhyuk guy know Kyungil through Hyunwoo," Ten looked at Changkyun for confirmation, the latter nodding that he was correct so far, so he added, "who helped get those fuckers off you," he paused, tilting his head with confusion, "all on his own?"

Changkyun couldn't help but chuckle then.

Ten and him were meager and couldn't relate to taking down a few built men on their own. It was partially understandable that Ten was confused and the other part was funny. But like Changkyun had been thinking, no bloody details to disclose of zero necessity. What Ten didn't know didn't hurt him.

"He did." Changkyun finally replied. "I don't recall him doing it but nothing else explains how I'm able to still be back here and telling you of that so.." He trailed off with a shrug.

Ten nodded with bewilderment written on his face. He was awestricken by how someone would put themselves in front of danger for someone they know only in passing and then proceed to looking after them like it was the easiest thing to do. And maybe it was for them, he had given up on humanity some decade ago but maybe there still is a heap of kind people, a precious minority amongst the ones who feed off weaklings which were all but willing to pass on a chance of helping someone when they could and even if they couldn't.

His next question blindsided Changkyun to say the least.

"So how are you willing to repay them then?"

Ten watched as his friend's eyebrows furrowed, a pout he was heedless of twisted his lips as he pondered the question.

Changkyun was aware that he was rude, that he comes off as ungrateful when he doesn't show his appreciation for someone's assistance but his last course of action was by far the most impolite he'd ever been to someone after they had spent time and effort on him.

He wasn't going to use the card that Kihyun was mean to him. It would be childish and ignorant of him. However, he somehow already did when he stormed out of the two friends' apartment in the middle of the night and came back to find Minhyuk panicking only to tell him a measly 'thank you' that neither showed his appreciation nor how ill-mannered he most definitely was.

"I kind of got into an argument with Kihyun last night and walked out of there while Minhyuk was yelling at me to stay the night but I didn't listen."

Ten was gaping at him like a drowning goldfish.

He smacked him right upside the head before pointing out that "you don't just walk away from an argument just because it doesn't appeal to you."

Changkyun rolled his eyes.

"You're telling me."

That earned him another smack and he scowled at Ten when he made to do it again.

"Look, I know that I messed up and that that specific argument stringed all the wrong threads for me to try to pull out but what else was I supposed to do? Stay there and hear him dismiss.." Changkyun gestured at himself as a whole, "all that made me what I am today and would want to ever be?"

Ten shook his head. He knew that Changkyun wasn't confrontational and maybe too rude when he wasn't paying enough attention, but he also knew that Changkyun needed to hear it from him if he couldn't figure it out on his own any time soon.

"What you should have done wasn't to take an offence because of what the guy said, the week he was there for you not taken into consideration, but he deserved you at least explain to him how and why that didn't settle well with you."

Changkyun, stubborn as he was, openly rolled his eyes at that.

"No, he didn't _deserve_ an explanation, Ten. He is a complete stranger that needn't know the minutiae of my life."

Ten rested his head in his palm with his elbow on the counter as he stared at Changkyun with half lidded eyes that displayed just how ecstatic he was to be having a conversation with a practical wall.

"Riddle me this, Kyun." To say that Ten was expressive without a single word coming from his mouth about his feelings and thoughts was the understatement of the century. Not only was his face blank of any emotion but it also managed to portray just how utterly _bored_ he was, just the perfect amount of _done_. "Hypothetically," he started, "you and I will be having a conversation, all fancy themes and interesting ideas but we hit a snag as we reach a point where you stick to your opinion that a guy named Kihyun that you’ve met recently is not deserving of having a conversation with you like a civilized human would think, and this is where it gets interesting,” he held up a hand to mark a pause in the narration, “I grow frustrated of your biased opinion and stand up, choosing to no longer explain how your thoughts are faulty, and walk out that door and then knock again to say ‘thank you for the meal, asshole.’” He tilted his head, eyebrows raised and asked, “how would that make you feel?”

Changkyun’s first reaction was, of course, to laugh, so he did. Loud and undoubtedly amused with the comparison.

He collected himself quickly and shook his head. “You can’t be seriously saying that I did that to Kihyun.” He chanced a look at Ten when he didn’t get an answer within the next long seconds. “Wait,” he frowned. Ten was giving him a pointed look that all but read _‘that is exactly what I’m saying’_. He groaned and buried his face in his hands. “You can’t be serious, man.”

Ten was growing very impatient with how blinded his friend was from seeing his mistake.

“Changkyun, just think about it for a sec.”

So Changkyun did. He paused, and recalled what Kihyun said to him and what he’d said to Ten. Kihyun was talking about something only he understood the true meaning of and was convinced with, much like Changkyun was talking of what he believed to be a universal truth that the people who didn’t know him didn’t need to know about his life. They were both holding on to what they knew for fact and refused to consider anything else outside of that box, especially when the person that each one of them was conversing with chose to leave without trying to open their eyes for another fact that was more real and made much more sense.

If Ten were to just leave without a word when they were in the middle of a conversation then Changkyun’s first reaction would be getting offended because of the disrespect, then hurt because he was put in that situation, and mad for sure, then proceed to hold a grudge until Ten apologizes to him for being offended because of Changkyun’s lack of openness to new ideas and tolerance for others’ opinions.

Changkyun took the time to note that Kihyun didn't do any of that and went for an apology instead, even if he didn't know what exactly it was that he had said that hurt Changkyun's feelings.

Would he ever do that if Ten just left him there, he thought to himself, the apologizing part. The answer would be a definite no. He would disregard how not ready he'd be to seeing Ten's point in favour of being angry at Ten for offending him.

By then, it was obvious to Changkyun how selfish he was being.

But what puzzled him still was the 'thank you for the meal, asshole' part.

Had he really done that by going back to Kihyun and Minhyuk's apartment just to sound like an asshole himself when all he thought was to tell the two friends that he was aware of what they did for him and thankful?

The answer is yes. He did. But also, he was blinded by his hurt and couldn't make a better decision because of his crooked judgment, especially when all he could think of was how hard it had been, all the way up to his walk in the middle of the night, to live by himself. In addition to how it was gnawing at his ease of mind the way he was welcomed, him, a complete stranger, and taken care of and fed for a week without question. It wasn't the most comfortable of situations to be in, he knew everything had a price but neither Minhyuk nor Kihyun wanted him to pay them back, which confused and troubled him more. All he could muster for conclusion was that he needed to leave them be. It served as a last push, the last straw, when he got into that disagreement with Kihyun for him to go back home.

He couldn't handle the anxiety of obliging someone to look after him and the need for a confrontation when their conversation touched a sore spot in him.

He was too good at it, running away. So he did. The only difference this time was that it was a home he was running from to his own. He was better off by himself. Or so he believed.

  
  


"I see your point." Came the long awaited reply from Changkyun. He sounded dejected and it made Ten feel slightly sorry for pushing him, but it was for the better. Changkyun needed to see it for himself and Ten was glad to be of help like that, even if it was not welcomed at first.

"So," he started, his fingers loosely wrapped on the counter, "what are your plans now?"

The question wasn't about one thing or the other, all Ten knew was that Changkyun needed to fix it and the hows were up to his friend entirely.

Changkyun sighed, a small smile tugging his lips upwards. Ten really wasn't about to give him a break.

"For now, I'm not sure. I should apologize somehow but I can't think of anything when all the stuff I've been missing on in school and work are weighing me down." He threw his head back, a strangled groan leaving his lips, before sitting up straight and looking at Ten in the eyes. "I'm kind of freaking out, man." He tried to communicate, taking the time to lick his lips before continuing, "I need to apologize and thank them properly, I'll think of something appropriate, I promise." Ten could see how the words were reassurance to himself, he kept nodding as if letting them sink in.

To rid Changkyun of his misery, because Ten could see the wheels in his head turning too fast that fumes were threatening to come out of his ears, he clamped a hand on Changkyun's shoulder.

"So," he started, "now that we have that much cleared, can we like, do some schoolwork?" The glint in Changkyun's eyes was unmistakable, Ten almost laughed at how welcome the change of subject was.

"Yes," Changkyun was almost pleading. He was supposed to ask for Ten to help him over the phone because that was the reason he called him, but he didn't quite get to doing that with what came up instead.

Ten waved off the million thank you's and swapped them for some snacks instead, another way for Changkyun _to show how grateful he was to have an amazing friend like him_. Changkyun of course rolled his eyes at that but complied, accepting to be Ten's servant for the rest of the day while they talked about everything and nothing amidst their study date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For making it this far and for waiting for the update, I thank you greatly.
> 
> In the hopes that it was enjoyable~
> 
> The comments and kudos left last time were so very appreciated! Make sure to tell me what you think this time, yeah?
> 
> Stay safe!


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